Vroom vroom, I’m in me mum’s car

Welcome to The Strawman, the daily email that is now the second biggest cause of climate change (because this shit fire ofc)

We all know that kid. The kid who finds out what the test is going to be so looks up the answers online ahead of time. No one likes that kid.

And there’s a good reason not to - we’re in a civilised society and as part of that society, there are rules. Don’t cheat, don’t lie, and, after COVID, don’t stock up on 50,000 toilet rolls.

But when there are incentives there, we shouldn’t be surprised. Babies cry, potatoes potate, and people break rules - it’s what they do.

Because so many investors have made it clear that ESG is a “priority” for them, it means the stars have aligned for the “that kid”s of the corporate world. A great example of this is “Greenwashing”.

What is Greenwashing?

Ouch. The most infamous Greenwashing case is that of Volkswagen - also known as “Dieselgate”. See - all cars in the US have had to adhere to emissions standards since 1968. This isn’t one of those BS open book exams that doesn’t really matter - if you fail, the car that your company just spent millions of dollars building isn’t road legal.

Volkswagen did what “that kid” would do. It cheated. By programming their engines to actively lower their emissions only when they were being tested, Volkswagen thought they were pulling a fast one (but still under the speed limit, don’t worry gang).

This all came to a head when independent road testing made it clear Volkswagen’s cars were exceeding standards. You would have thought that with all their cars Volkswagen would’ve made a speedy getaway. The actual result? Nearly $35bn in fines.

Turns out, greenwashing doesn’t pay.